Internet Safety Tips for Kids and Teens

The Internet is an amazing source of information and resources. It is used daily in nearly every home and public school across the nation. Many of the younger generation don't even know what an encyclopedia is. Books-in-print are often out-dated by the time they reach your book shelf. The Internet is real-time and can be updated daily, or even hourly. The days of waiting for a story to come out in the newspaper the next day are gone. In a big city news is updated hourly or even more often in some cases. The Internet is truly an incredible resource.

However, the very fact that anyone can add content that is readily available to everyone, also makes it a very scary place. Online predators can hide behind a computer screen and no one knows who they are or what their intentions may be. Unfortunately children and teens are the most targeted victims of these online predators because of their innocence. Online safety for children and teenagers has become such a big concern that the FBI has even created a Parent's Guide to Internet Safety. Online predators often befriend individuals through social networking sites like MySpace or Facebook or through some other online chat program. They talk to them about things the kids are interested in: music, TV, movies, anything they show any interest in. They may send virtual gifts to the child or teen, making them feel important and cared about.  Then gradually start to introduce the idea that they are "in love" with the individual, that they want to run away with them and take care of them, etc. All this new found attention may be exactly what a teenager thinks they need.

Unfortunately, this type of interaction is rarely, if ever, real and genuine. It is most likely a trap used to lure this innocent, unsuspecting individuals into the confidence of very dangerous predators. Our natural instincts help us, when meeting someone face-to-face, to sense lies, danger, and uncomfortable situations. Using the Internet as a meeting place takes away the ability for our natural instincts to sense these problems. When we can't see, hear, smell, or touch our understanding of a situation is drastically reduced. Think of discovering a new food. No matter how much someone tells you about it, describes it to you, shows you pictures of it, etc. you can not experience what that food is like until you see it, smell it, touch it, and finally taste it for yourself. Even though someone may have told you it is the best thing in the world and that you are going to love it more than anything you have ever had, you may discover that you don't care for it at all and that in fact it is the worst thing you have ever had.

Understanding the dangers is only the first step in helping to keep your children and teens safe. Finding a way to allow them to use the good resources available on the Internet while protecting them from the bad can be very difficult. Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Install a Internet filter on your computer - this is a software that will help protect anyone from viewing pornographic or harmful material online. Some popular ones include: NetNanny, CYBERsitter, Safe Eyes, and PureSight. Having a child or teen stumble upon such content accidentally is very scary, this $20-$50 investment is priceless.
• Keep all computers in a public area. Do not allow teens or children to have a computer in their room or even take a laptop to their room to work on homework. You should be able to see what your child is doing online at all times.
• If you choose to allow your children to have their own email acccounts, social networking accounts, or use chat rooms, make sure you have access to them and check them periodically. Watch for a lot of messages from people you do not know or that your teen does not know in person.
• Most important, talk to your kids. Help them understand all the dangers that are on the Internet. Help them to understand that what seems real, may not be. Set hard and fast rules about what is acceptable Internet use (including if they are allowed to use the Internet at a friends house). Using a parent contract could be very helpful for setting rules and consequences.

If you don't understand the Internet or how any of it works, take classes and learn. Your child/teens safety is absolutely vital. You can not protect them from something you do not understand. Be very vigilant when it comes to any use of technology, cell phone use (with text and picture messaging) is becoming just as dangerous. Educate yourself and then educate your kids. Don't just tell them it is dangerous and they need to be careful, that isn't enough. Be involved every single day in your children and teenagers Internet and technology use.

Teenage Curfew - Need a Parent Contract?

Curfew is simply "an order for certain persons to return home daily before a certain time" according to Wikipedia. Curfew typically applies to those age 18 and younger. Teenage curfew ordinances are typically set at  the local city or county government level and are enforced by local law enforcement agencies. These laws will generally prohibit anyone under a specific age from being in public or at a business establishment between certain hours (10PM to 6AM for example). Curfew times may be different on weekends than on week days. These rules are enacted to help prevent juvenile crimes and help to maintain general peace.

While you may choose to set your own curfew rules for your household, you should be aware of what the curfew laws are in your area to make sure that your kids are in compliance. If your curfew rules are earlier than what the local curfew laws are, you may consider coming up with a parent contract that will set out what your rules and expectations are. You may choose to have a set curfew on school nights, a separate curfew for weekends, and another curfew for when your child or teen is out of school. You may also want to set in the contract when and how exceptions will be made and what needs to be done to arrange for those exceptions. Also, make sure to include what the specific consequences are for breaking curfew and what is considered "late". Is a minute past curfew late? Or will you allow a 10 minute window? If you are specific and your child signs a contract, you won't have to argue every night over 5 or 15 minutes.

Some exceptions for juveniles being out after curfew may include:

• Minors accompanied by a parent or guardian
• Minors traveling to or from work
• Minors attending official school or religious events
• Minors running errands under an adult's instruction
• Emergencies

Again, these are just a general idea and you should always check out your local laws to find out what the specifics are of your local curfew legislation. Some punishments that you may find for those that break curfew may include:

• Fines (usually increasing for subsequent violations)
• Imposition of community service or required enrollment in after - school programs
• Restriction of driver's license privileges
• Possible detention in jail or juvenile hall

Whatever you decide, make sure you know the local laws and that your family rules are in compliance with those laws. If you and your teen are clear on the rules and expectations, you will have a much better chance of keeping your teen safe and out of trouble.

Behavior Contracts and Reward Charts

Behavior charts aren't just for problem kids! Behavior charts are a great way to teach responsibility and help kids learn that positive behavior will get them much further than negative behavior! They are also a great way to help your child overcome negative behavior and use their natural energy and enthusiasm to get things done!! Behavior charts can include a wide-range of activities including:

• Daily Chores
• Homework
• Pet Care
• Reading
• Hygiene/Teeth care
• Potty Training
• Feelings

Behavior charts can be effective at any age. The older your child is the more input and help they should be able to give in designing the chart. Once you have the chart designed, the key to success is being consistent. If you enforce some things one day but not another day, kids will know immediately that you are not going to hold them to everything on the chart. Of course there will be exceptions, a child is sick, the family is out of town, etc. Make sure that everything on your chart is very specific and attainable. If you list more things than your child can possibly do in a day, make sure you are specific about which things need to be completed each day.

Many people choose to have a reward chart to go along with their behavior chart. If you choose to do so, here are a few tips on making your reward chart work for you. Some of the most successful rewards don't cost you anything and provide long-term benefits to both you and your child: talking a walk together, visiting a free museum or display in your area, reading a special book together, watching a movie together, anything that involves spending some one on one time with your child is a great reward that can benefit both of you. Sometimes receiving something tangible is also fun for a child. Find things that are age appropriate and make sure you have a system that defines exactly what has to be done to earn each reward. This is a great way to teach about consequences as well.

Some reward ideas:

• A new book
• A new game
• A play date
• A sleepover
• A favorite meal
• Extra TV time
• A special dessert
• A new CD
• Parent does a chore for the child
• Something from the "Treasure Box" (may include items like, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks, markers, toothbrush, hair ornaments, etc)

Using a behavior chart and a reward chart can be very successful in helping to keep a household running smoothly. In an over-busy world with too many things to do and not enough time to do it, having a schedule and assigned tasks can help get everything done. Using a parent contract to help enforce a behavior chart may be effective for struggling teens or children that need a little extra reinforcement.

Parenting Tip - National Red Ribbon Week Coming Soon

Hey Parents! - National Red Ribbon Week is coming soon! At the end of this month - October 23rd-31st - is National Red Ribbon Week 2010! Your parenting tip of the month is to take this opportunity to really talk and listen to your children about drugs, and come up with a plan to keep your kids drug free. 

The National Family Partnership, which sponsors the National Red Ribbon Campaign, offered a Red Ribbon Theme Contest which provided an opportunity for many to participate in coming up with a theme for the week. Most of the over 300 contest entries clearly recognized and surrounded the idea of individuality and that drug use is an individual choice. 

Although peer pressure can add to, or influence, someones choice to try drugs - it is ultimately the individuals choice to participate or "just say no", as previous campaigns have shown. Helping your child to make a conscious decision to never try or use drugs at an early age may be one of the greatest gifts you give them as a parent.  Whether your child is interested in drugs or not; every parent should educate themselves on drug statistics, local drug problems, and drug use trends and pass this information on to their children.  Don't wait until you get the call that your child is in the emergency room from ingesting too many pharmaceuticals to educate yourself on "pharm parties", or any number of other teen trends. The more your child knows about the consequences of drug use the better chance they have of making the right choice when offered drugs.

Teens will most likely only hear one side of the convincing argument to use drugs when their classmates are trying to get them to try it.  They need to be armed with detailed convincing arguments and stories as to why they have already decided they will not choose to ever experiment or try drugs, prior to being put in the situation to accept or deny the drugs.  Parent Contracts that specifically address drug use and the consequences of drug use is a great way to arm your kids with this information. 

Use the 2010 Red Ribbon Week theme "See the Connections....Choices = Consequences" and "I AM DRUG FREE" to commit yourself and your child to make good choices when it comes to drugs and help them understand the consequences if they do not make good choices.